A New (Expensive) Journey

 Regular Grocery Bill: $168.00

 

2 small bags of gluten-free snacks from Earth Fare: $100.00

 

And so begins the journey.

 

 

A few years ago I started noticing small food allergies.  My lips would blister and swell when I ate Thai food.  Chinese food made me feel like I was legitimately having a stroke.  I determined perhaps I was allergic to Thai food and after paying a little more attention determined I was also allergic to MSG.  I probably still have those food allergies....now with a much bigger one attached.

 

 

Fast forward to a few months ago and a 10 pound weight gain in my stomach only and I realized I may have a bigger problem.  Food was becoming my enemy.  If I could make it through the day without eating at all I would have done it!  Unfortunately, I become quite HANGRY when I don't eat so I continued to eat my normal foods with the terrible side effects afterwards.  I actually can't believe I'm posting this picture, but it helps to show what certain foods were doing to my body.  Granted, no one has ever accused me of having a 6 pack, but my stomach has only looked like this once before and it was December of 2006 when I was 9 months pregnant!

This was me after a veggie burger, salad, and water.  Yep...9 months pregnant....but not pregnant.





I was so incredibly miserable after every meal.  I would spend my nights sweating and writhing in pain.  My bladder became so weak I could barely go an hour without using the bathroom (and for a teacher, that spells trouble).  I had terrible heartburn and indigestion.  I was so fatigued that I was falling asleep behind the wheel of my car in the middle of the day.  I basically had every symptom of being pregnant without the fetus inside! KJ was so alarmed after meals when he would look at my stomach and feel how rock hard it was.  I knew something was very wrong with my body but I had no idea what it could be.

 

Long story short, I had blood work done about 2 weeks ago and sure enough my levels came back abnormal.  The disease it pointed to was Celiac.  I had heard of it before, but had no clue what all it entailed.  I was scheduled for an endoscopy to biopsy tissue from my small intestine.  I had this procedure done this past Friday.  I had a nice anesthesiologist and a very nice nap.  The doctor came to see us in recovery and said she doesn't normally like to make a diagnosis before the biopsy comes back, but there was more than sufficient evidence that showed the effects of Celiac disease in my body.  I immediately knew that although this "gluten free" thing may be a fad for some, it was about to become a required lifestyle for me.

 

So.....there we have it.  Food really was poisoning my body!  It's hard to think about changing my food for the rest of my life, so I just have to take it one day at a time.  It will be expensive, inconvenient, annoying, and frustrating, but it can be done and I can do it.  I will be the annoying person at restaurants, the friend at the party who "can't eat that", but I will also hopefully start to feel better, sleep better, have more energy and not be carrying the literal weight of what gluten filled foods do to me.  This auto-immune disease stops here.

 

I'm on day 2 of my journey and I've already stood in the aisles of the grocery store and cried.  My budget can't afford this lifestyle, but I have the support of a loving husband-to-be who will excitedly eat gluten free with me even when he doesn't have to and family who I know will support me with ideas, recipes, and healthy cooking when I'm with them.  I also have the cutest 8 year old who asks me "Is that gluten free?" before I put anything in my mouth...ha!  He's so concerned!

 

What is your job?  IF you have any experience in this area at all please send me anything you think would be helpful!  Tips, recipes, snacks, restaurant ideas, etc.!  I'd love to hear from you!

 

My tip: Gluten Free Donuts are Bomb-Diggity.  That's really all I've learned so far! :)

 

 

 

Amanda

#glutenisthedevil



                  Good Night a Livin...if you only knew how long it took me to publish this blog!  When you don't post in over a year, it's a nightmare to try to post.  Thanks, Google Security!

                To finally sit down and write about my experiences in the past 18 months is overwhelming, yet I find it so exciting I can hardly control my fingers on the keyboard.  Not because I am thrilled to share it, and certainly not because I have had the best 18 months of my life, but more because I have accepted this time in my life and I’m really just ready to lay it all on the table and…not to overuse a phrase that’s been overused lately but…let it go!  When I thought about writing this journey in a blog, it came to me in stages and that’s exactly how I will write it.  So I’m titling this first stage Declaration.  The organized nerd in me likes things that all start with the same letter, so all the other stages to follow will also start with a D.  Yesssssss!!!!! J

                 I think when you go through something as traumatic as a Divorce, you experience all kinds of stages from the very beginning to way past the actual finality of Divorce.  For some of you, the past sentence has already rocked your world because you had no idea I am Divorced.   Well, I have been…I am …and will always have that stigmatism with me for the rest of my life (there’s my declaration).  I’ll always have to answer those awkward questions that come up every once in a while, always have to give a little more explanation in certain situations, and always have to feel that little sense of failure that the people pleaser in me hates to feel.  I do think that after writing this, I will be able to move on in a way I haven’t yet.  Part of moving on happens when you accept responsibility. I accept full responsibility for the demise of my marriage.  Eighteen months ago, I would not and could not have said that.  However, I’ve learned that the blame game gets me nowhere, finger pointing only points out more flaws in me, and trying to prove something only makes me frustrated.

 Please understand, I am writing this for me.  Not you.  This is my journey.  Not yours.  These were my choices.  No one else’s.   I do not need your sympathy.  I do not need your approval or disapproval.  I don’t need you to delete me off your friend list on Facebook...or add me for that matter!  I don’t need you to invite me to church.  I don’t need you to ignore me in public or give me the silent treatment or refuse to wish me well on my birthday or other special holidays. I don’t need to be excluded from the invitation list because I “no longer really have a family to come with”.  I don’t need to be the topic of your conversation…although I’m flattered you would think to talk about me! I don't need to be called "disgusting" or a "homewrecker".  I’ve experienced all those things already.  What I need from you is to keep being exactly who you have been.  Because I’ve realized that when you are at your darkest, only a handful of people walk with you.  Only a handful of people can handle your imperfect-ness.  Only a handful of people are actually brave enough to ask and listen to all the gory details without being offended.  Only a few choice people can love you the same way they did before you disappointed them.  Only a choice few know…really know…all of the stages I have been through in this process, and I definitely owe them countless hours of therapy payments.

So there’s my post for today.  My Declaration.  If you could see the tears I’ve cried typing out this stage, you’ll know why I can only write about 1 stage at a time.  Even typing the words is hard.  I don't know why, but it is.  For those of you who had no idea, I’m sorry to hit you with this on the gloomiest day we’ve seen in TN this summer.  For those of you who already know, I hope these next few posts shed a little more light on the pain of divorce.  It’s a sin, and apparently it’s considered a BIG 10 sin (you know, we Christians love to rank our sins), but it’s a sin that a large percentage of people are dealing with, and at the end of the day I hope you can remember that they (we) are people.  Sinful people.  All of us.  Each with our own set of sins that we deal with.  My sin is ugly and public.  Your sin may be private, but it’s still just as ugly.  So while you sit and watch pornography in the privacy of your home, or put another five thousand dollars on your credit card for your spending addiction, or continue to steal Internet or cable from your neighbor, I’ll continue to deal with my sin of divorce.  Now that’s a Declaration….

 

The Great Pretender

Let's just go ahead and get it out of the way.  You are all saying..."long time, no blog"...yeah, yeah.  I get it.  Now get over it and read. ;)

The Great Pretender is a song I remember listening to when I was younger.  I grew up listening to Oldies...every day...all day.  Reason?  My dad was a kick butt lead singer in a band called The Spontaines and sang with all kinds of cool "oldie" people, so we listened to Oldies.  And I loved it.  No complaining here.  It was magical to drive around in our large...emerald green...white cracking leather seated.... Cordoba (yes you read that right).... where the horn had a short in it and would honk randomly while driving...all the while listening to great old songs from the 50's and 60's.  I can honestly say that I still love that music...and shockingly still know most of the words.

So..back to The Great Pretender...that song is all about being sad and lost, but pretending that everything is ok.  This is me.  I've known it my whole life.  I'm just now, at 32, willing to accept it and do something about it.  I also know it about other people.  If I'm pretending in certain situations, then I know others are too.  Society forces us to.  Human nature forces us to.  Even the people we love the most force us to pretend some times.  And in some situations, pretending is good!  Lord knows if we all acted like we wanted to in every situation, or said what we really wanted to in every situation, none of us would have any friends!  NONE. :)  So, here are my thoughts on pretending and what I've learned over the past several months.  As always, these are my thoughts.  You don't have to agree with them or like them, but most of the responses I get are always things like ..."you read my mind"...."you said exactly what I've been thinking".....and those make me smile.   I'm willing to deal with the small backlash I always get to speak my mind....I can live with that...or pretend to anyways. ;)


1.) Pretending is a part of life.

  We are forced from a young age to pretend.  "Use your imagination"...."pretend you are a princess"...."let's play pretend"!  Some of you even had imaginary friends...I'm going to pretend like that 's normal...but I'm really not so sure. :)  Some kids are forced to pretend just to survive daily life.  They live a life no child should have to live and the only escape for them is possibly to pretend.  Pretend they are living another life...pretend things that are happening to them really aren't.  Others of us pretended at a young age simply because it was fun.  I'm not sure at what age pretending goes from fun to frustrating, but it does at some point.  At some point we are told that we have to stop pretending and start being honest.  Honesty then becomes a huge issue and we are forced to just immediately stop playing pretend and live our lives not playing games any more.  I wonder why the transition is hard for all of us? ;)

2.) People pretend to like us and we pretend to like other people.

  Were you ever forced as a child to play with someone?  To invite someone to a party?  To pretend to like a family member? (ha!)  The answer should be a resounding YES.  I do the same thing as a mother to Noah.  "Noah...go play with him!"  "Noah...BE NICE!"  I get that look from him like "For heaven's sake mom, I DON'T WANT TO!!!"  and yet I still push him to pretend.  It's my way of thinking I am making Noah a better person by loving everyone, but let's just be honest...I am forcing him to make choices and act a certain way for me and not for himself.  (Note to readers: I am not in any way saying it is ok for my child to be mean to another child...but I shouldn't force him to be best friends with someone he doesn't like...get it?) 

It's a hard pill to swallow thinking that people pretend to like us.  I feel like, for the most part, that people are generally nice to me.  If I had to make a list right now of people who just didn't like me at all, I don't know that I could come up with anyone.  Ok...maybe 2?  I don't know.  The reality is...there are probably multiple people I could put on that list if people stopped pretending.  We've all experienced the horrible feeling of thinking someone is your friend and then finding out how they really feel...right?  That's a part of life.  It hurts, it sucks...but it's reality.  Sometimes we just don't click with people.  We force friendships, force relationships, and know in our hearts that we just really don't like that person and they really don't like us...but we continue to play the game every time we see them.  It's the right way to handle the situation.  I don't feel there is ever any reason to just be mean to someone, but it's still all a game.  A big game of pretend.

3.) We pretend like everything is always OK.

I AM THE MASTER OF THIS.  DO NOT DARE TRY TO TAKE AWAY MY TITLE.  I WILL WIN EVERY DAY...EVERY TIME.

Someone I love dearly told me last week that one of the things she admires most about me is that no matter what I am going through (hell at the moment, by the way) that I come to work every day with a smile on my face and a cheerful attitude and no one would ever know I am hurting.  I was thankful she admires that in me...but then I thought...doesn't that make me a BIG FAT LIAR????  The more I thought about it, the more I don't think that is the case.  We can't drag our baggage into work.  I have a job to do...kids to love...and things to teach.  In essence, I am "on stage" every day at my job.  I can't crawl into my cubicle, lay my head on my desk, or go into the bathroom stall and let it all out.  I have to pretend I am ok so that my kids can get through their day with happiness and joy...my main goal as a teacher.  We learn to pretend to adapt to our situations.  We pretend so we don't lose our jobs.  We pretend so we don't lose friends.  No one wants Debby Downer as a friend, right?  You know that person...you avoid them at the grocery store because the second you ask.."How Are You?"...you regret it ....big time.  By the time they finish their woeful story, your ice cream has melted in your buggy and you hate your own life too.  How did that happen? ;)  But we don't want that person to be honest...we literally want that "I'm good" answer even if they aren't good.  Why is that?  I think it's because sometimes hearing what people are going through is just plain uncomfortable for us.  What can we do to help?  Say "I'll pray for you" and then we don't.  Say "let me know if you need anything" and then cross your fingers that they don't call and actually need something.  Yep...I think if we were honest, that's exactly what most of us do.

4.) My Point

Lord, I ramble.  My point is....don't be a pretender all the time.  Find those people you can be 100% honest with.  Pretend when you have to...to keep your job...to keep out of the looney bin (although time away would be nice..ha!)...you know those important times. :)  I've done a lot of pretending in my life and it's coming back to bite me in the you know where.  I'm ok with it now..it's a part of life...a part of my life and a part of my "growing up" you could say.  Everything that happnes in our lives is a part of our story.  I wouldn't change a thing about my life.  Why would I want to?  It's brought me here.  It's helped me help others.  It's forced me to be a better person...a better me. 

Final Thought:  I'm done pretending.  So I'll totally understand if you avoid me like the plague at the grocery store. ;)

A Kodak Moment....

Happy New Year, Faithful Readers...all 10 of you!  I have officially been blogging a year and I must say I did better at it then I thought I would.  You see...I like to start projects, but usually struggle in finishing them. 

You all know how I feel about resolutions.  I just set myself up for failure when I make resolutions, therefore I don't.  I certainly have things I want to work on this next year, but I would rather take life one day at a time.  I always get nervous for new years to start.  2012 has been a good year for us and I always wonder what the next year will bring.  Will it be better?  Worse?  Hmmm....we shall see.  Whatever the new year brings, I know I am thankful to be healthy and alive to experience it.

I thought I would end this year's posts with my favorite pictures from each month.  Looking back on these photos brings back so many memories.  That's why I'm such a picture taker...how in the world would you remember an entire year without pictures? 

So enjoy these monthly pictures...I hope they make you think back on your year as well.  Our family is not perfect and our lives are not perfect, but we do enjoy life.  I hope you plan on doing the same in 2013!



January: This picture makes me laugh.  Emily and I were so leary of who was in that costume.  YIKES!
 





February: Celebrating with my dear friend, Beth, on the arrival of her miracle, Delaney Jane.

 

March: Brad Paisley with the girls.  A fab night almost ruined by tornados.  Glad we got to rock our cowboy boots!

April: Easter with my family and the large snake that decided to move into our front porch.

May: Field Day with my sweethearts.  Loved watching them "play" their hearts out!

June: Our anniversary trip to Kauai.  This picture represents my happiest place...any beach...any where.

July: So many pictures to choose from this month, but this little man stole my heart on this trip. So blessed to have him as my nephew.

August: I love this picture of my birthday night.  It reminds me that I love to meet new people...I think our funny glasses connected us. ;)

September: Our last official lake/pool day of the season.  So many great memories spent by the water this past summer.

October: My parents first time at Disney World!  Priceless family time.

November: Well...kind of October...but this was close to November 1st.  Loved my boys' costumes this year!

December: Sheesh.  I don't even know how to describe how much I love this picture.  I won't try.  Thank you Leah Price Photography for capturing the love between Noah and I. 

 

 

So from my family to yours, Happy New Year!  Enjoy every season, every month, every week, every day....and for goodness sake...take pictures!!!  I'm so glad I captured these moments!

 

 

 

 

 

Bring on 2013!  



6 Years Ago....

My darling Noah,

6 years ago today we waited with expectation for you.  Nervousness....anxiety....impatience....as you waited and waited...and waited to come.  You were not early, nor were you on time.  You came late...you came when you wanted to...when doctors forced you to.  I'm convinced you were doing it on purpose already to your "I hate being late" mother. :)  A sign of things to come.....

5 years ago today we celebrated your first birthday.  Slews of people came to celebrate with you.  It was Western theme...you were our little cowboy.  You made a mess of your cake...threw it at your party guests....laughing the whole time.  A sign of things to come....

4 years ago today you turned two!  Boy, was it a circus!  We worked so hard to transform our basement into the perfect circus for our boy.  Bouncy houses, games and pinattas....you shot people with the ping-pong gun.  A sign of things to come....

3 years ago today we watched you turn 3!  You wanted a shark themed birthday.  We "Shark-Taled" it up.  You wanted a cookie cake...we got the biggest one they made.  We bought you underwear and made you giggle.  You threw your new underwear at your friends.  A sign of things to come...

2 years ago you were our Superhero!  You turned 4 along with Captain America, the Hulk, and Iron Man.  You begged for bounce house...we obliged.  You wanted me to make your cupcakes...I did....and they rocked (if I do say so myself).  You got in trouble for climbing on top of the bounce house.  A sign of things to come.

1 year ago Chuck E. Cheese was no longer avoidable.  It was your 5th birthday and we entered the 7th layer of hell on a Friday night at CEC.  You wore a shirt that lit up to music...it was rad.  You played with every single one of your friends and tried to make them all feel included.  I cheated in the ticket blaster and got in trouble with the waitress.  A sign of things to come....wait....

And this year, on your 6th birthday, you made an ultra-fabulous gingerbread house at school yesterday.  Your teacher is amazed with how smart you are.  You are a reading machine.  You are the class clown (as I witnessed this week in your room).  The girls giggle at everything you say.  You "forget" to eat lunch because you talk too much.  A sign of things to come.

And on this day, my heart literally bursts with love for you.  I don't know how to love you more, but everyday I do.  4 days ago, kids your age lost their lives in a senseless tragedy.  They will never have another birthday.  So even though every birthday in the past is memorable, this one....even more so.  Enjoy every moment, Noah.  The times we drive you crazy....the times when rules get on your nerves...the times when your feelings get hurt...the times you laugh so hard you can barely breathe.  Enjoy them.  Celebrate them.  Embrace the things to come.

Today...I celebrate YOU.  You are my greatest joy.  You are my biggest adventure.  You are the best thing I have ever done.  I can't wait to see what is to come.

No....I love you more,
Mom

What I do Know....

I consider myself a writer.  I have no published books and no one knows my name as an author, but writing is definitely one of my top forms of self expression.  I know it's time to write another post when my fingers are almost itching to get to a computer. 

In light of what happened in CT on Friday, I realized how many things I do not know.  How many things I do not have answers for now and will never have answers for until I am with Jesus for eternity.  I know God will probably wait as long as He can to call me home because He just isn't ready to deal with my rapid fire questioning.  And who knows...maybe He will just bless us all with ultimate knowledge upon arrival so He doesn't have to answer a million questions.  Can't you just see Jesus saying.."Now Amanda...you know there are no stupid questions but I really need to get back to the business of being God"...;)

In this post, I thought I would just write some things that I do know.  Remember, you may not always agree with the things I say and that's ok.  I can certainly respect you for your opinions and beliefs and I know my friends do the same for me.

So in regards to what happened on Friday, here's what I know....


1. I know God is in control.  Our generation is not the first to experience evil.  God didn't take a snack break at 9:00 on Friday morning and return for the angels to fill Him in on what happened.  These things happen because we live in a sin filled world with sin filled people...myself included.

2. I know that regardless of what the news said about the gunman being "Brilliant", "Remote"  "had a personality disorder", etc....let's just get down to business and be honest.  This guy is a total jerk-wad.  Plain and simple.  (I could have used a more grown up word than jerk-wad, but didn't want to offend.)  However, once I've said that in anger, I have to think a little more maturely.  Had he not killed himself, perhaps one day he would have come to know Jesus.  Perhaps he would have asked for forgiveness.  Would Jesus have forgiven him?  Could I forgive him if my child had been one of his victims?  Whew....on this rainy Sunday, that's a tough pill for me to swallow.  Honestly, I know God would have...not sure I could. 

3. I know that what happened at that school is every teacher/school administrator's worst nightmare.  I am on the safety committee at my school and we have a plan.  Every school has a plan.  Plans just don't always work in situations like this.  I have probably run through in my mind what "I would have done" a thousand times this weekend.  And I honestly get nauseated every time I try to run through it.  I've been in lockdowns before...real ones.  Sitting there in a dark corner of your classroom with 20 kids, not knowing what's going on in the halls of your school, doing everything you can to reassure the worried little faces you see, pretending it's just a drill.  Your heart pounds out of your chest.  Your mother's instinct takes over and you go into protective mode.  What those teachers did?  Not surprising at all.  That's part of our job.  Those kids in my classroom are MY kids from 8-3.  I wouldn't let anyone hurt Noah and I'm certainly not going to allow anyone to hurt my other 19 babies. 

***Some of you are still worried because I said I'm on the school safety committee..I know it.*** ;)

4. I know that when I look at the pictures of these victims, I know without a shadow of a doubt that it could have been me.  It could have been any of us. And it could happen again.  We like to build our lives with false security.  We like to think we are safe.  And we should be able to think that.  We shouldn't have to worry when we drop our kids off at school, or go to the mall, or go to the movies.  But I do know we are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Plain and simple.  Whether it be an illness, a car accident, or a horrific event that we happen to be a part of...LIFE IS FRAGILE.  It is fleeting....it is fast. 

5.  I know that relationships are important.  In my life, relationships are a top priority.  Matt and I were talking last night that if it had been my school on Friday, and I hadn't made it out...what would I have wanted to make sure of?  My immediate answer was "that the people I love knew that I loved them."  Did I say it?  Did I show it?  It's what matters most to me.

So in all of the things that I don't know (which outweighs what I do know by a lot), these are just some things that I do know.  I also know no one likes a blog without pictures (fact) so I'll leave you with a couple.....

My Love Bugs.....

Keepin' It Real...Christmas Card Photo Prep...right after N smacked me in the face with that hideous hat. :)

 

 



Honest Confession Friday

Honest Confession #1: I am a total blog drop out.  I admit it.

So I have just been incredibly busy these past few months.  I've managed to keep up my Facebook page pretty well and post the important stuff and pictures, but my blog has really suffered.  However, I must say, if something in my life has to give...this is going to be it.  I'd rather be a blog dropout than have no social life..ha!

I thought it would be fun and interesting to do a little Honest Confessional Friday.  I have a lot on my mind and it feels good for me to write (type) it out.  It's my own personal relief and I feel it is long overdue for everyone to hear my skeletons again...I gave you so much in 2011 so I can't let you down in 2012! :)

HC #2: I am disappointed in the election results.  I mean..I'm not really into politics.  Listening to people just BS non-stop drives me crazy.  I work in education...I hear all the things both parties will "do for education" and yet.....well you get the point.

HC#3: I don't hate people who voted for Obama and I don't hate Democrats.  I have differing views, but that's what makes us Americans.  Do I believe people should work if they can?  Yes.  Do I believe we should get free handouts?  No.  Do I believe that everyone is really trying to provide for their families and just need a little assistance?  No.  When parents drop off and pick up their kids from school in pajamas, I don't believe they are trying.  Just my opionion.  It's my blog...I can say it. ;)

HC#4: I don't usually try to pretend that the things I like are what others should like BUT...Gloria Jean's Butter Toffee coffee with Almond Joy creamer is THE YUMMIEST.  Try it!

HC#5: I am getting excited about the holidays.  This year, we are not buying Christmas presents for ourselves (except for Santa gifts for Noah) and are instead choosing some families to buy for.  I've always known it's better to give than receive, but let's be honest...I LOVE PRESENTS!!  However, I think I am actually more excited this year to shop for other people.  We have SO MUCH and literally are in need of nothing.  Why not provide Christmas for those who are struggling this year?  Noah is not thrilled about the idea (yet)...he sees a new toy and says "Well..I guess we are going to get that for some other kid"...ha!  I think he'll grow into it (maybe). :)

HC#6: I am getting stressed about Christmas card pictures.  Do you have those friends who send their Christmas cards out and you get them on December 1st?  Yep...that's usually my reminder to actually get some!  Trying to be ahead this year, but I'm already behind.  Story of my life.

HC#7: I am obsessed with the song "Heart Attack" by Trey Songz.  I do that.  I latch onto songs for periods of time and listen to them incessantly.  Last month it was Taylor Swift's "Begin Again" and before that was the entire "Country Strong" album.  Songs speak to me.  I do feel like a 13 year old though listening to 1 song over and over.

HC#8: School has been RIDICULOUS lately!  I have worked more 12-13 hour days these past few months than I ever have before.  I am so thankful for my friends at work.  If I didn't love my co-workers, I would have been in a big ball of tears a long time ago.

HC#9: I cannot believe my baby boy will be 6 in December!  We are pretty sure he will be our only one (unless God plays a fun trick on us) so it's just unbelievable to me that he has grown so fast.  I get these glimpses of him when he was a baby, toddler, etc. and then I look at him now and it just blows me away.  Watching him sing "God Bless the USA" at school today literally brought me to tears.  His innocence and heart for other people is exactly what I prayed for in a child....his independence/stubborness...not so much...but it will be useful in the future.  I know it!

And last but not least, HC#10... I know this one will really shock everyone.  It shouldn't because I am a human being...but it will.  Even my family will read this for the first time....sorry Mom...ha!

HC#10: I have been going to counseling.  (BIG SIGH OF RELIEF)  I don't know why it bothered me at first to admit it, but it did.  If I'm really honest, I think WE ALL NEED COUNSELING AT SOME POINT IN OUR LIVES...HAHA!  My mind has been a real battleground lately.  Matt and I have been married 10 years and for some reason I suddenly started to panic about being married FOREVER.  I started questioning everything we have worked so hard for...our marriage, our family, and basically just started questioning myself.  Talking with someone has been so helpful for me.  I think we (women especially) give so much and do so much for others that we lose a piece of ourselves in the process.  I started feeling like I didn't even know what I wanted anymore.  So I am discovering things about myself that I haven't discovered in a long time.  My first session, I literally just cried the whole time...what a mess...ha!  But now that I got some things out, I look forward to just going and talking to someone.  She probably wants to tell me to STOP TALKING sometimes, but she's a great listener (better than my 1st graders). :)

So there you have it people.  Great gossip material right?  I'm thinking some people got tired of reading at #4 and never even made it to #10!  I know a blog with no pictures is no fun so I'll put a few of my favorites up.

Mom's 1st time on Splash Mountain...BAHAHAHA!!!

Posing on Space Mountain with the kids' toys...priceless!

Living a dream...watching Rascal Flatts for the 1st time!

LOVE it when my friends have darling babies!  Sad I look more rough than the mother...but...this is my Sunday look. :)

Taught this precious girl in 6th grade and now she's taller than me.  Love you, R!

Don't post their pics on Facebook, but here is my life 5 days a week.  They wear me out, but I'm honored to be their teacher!

I just love this woman.  Plain and simple.

Keep in REAL.....

 

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