One year ago, I stole a head of cabbage from my local grocery store.
To my defense, it wasn't a pre-meditated theft. I was in the self check-out (mistake #1)...had scanned all my other items...and was trying to scan the blasted head of cabbage (mistake #2). It wouldn't scan. I couldn't find any vegetable code that would work. There were no workers in place to help me. What's a girl to do? I made mistake #3.
I paid for my other items, threw that darn head of cabbage in the bag, and
Well anyone who knows me well enough knows I have a conscience that is ridiculously weak (thank you, Lord) and I was agonizing in guilt all night long over that leafy vegetable. I didn't even enjoy eating it. So I got to thinking...I wonder if anyone would believe them if I told them I did this? I have this "image" to uphold and people would probably DIE if they knew I stole something from the grocery store! Then I thought...I wonder if anyone else has done that? You know...made a mistake...made a bad choice in the heat of frustration...simply been HUMAN. And that's where Honest Confessions 2011 was born. I was going to do this. I was going to end this misconception that Amanda Mallery is perfect...that she never makes mistakes or bad choices...that she has it all figured out. I was finally going to be...HONEST (super huge exhale).
I'm sure I've lost some friends along the way...I'm sure I've disappointed a few perfect people here and there...lost my testimony with some...my reputation with others. I'm sure there were heads shaking back and forth at some of the things I posted and words like "that's disappointing" uttered by those who thought they knew me well. But my goal for 2011 was to be myself...to quit pretending...quit covering things up...quit LYING for goodness sake! Because if God loves me through good and bad..through smart and stupid...then why can't other children of God? We expect so much of HIM...and give so LITTLE to others. We expect FULL forgiveness from HIM...and shake our heads in disappointment at others never thinking to throw an ounce of forgiveness their way. I love people for who they are and who I know they can be...not the choices they make or don't make.
I hope you enjoy this new view of my life. My parents used to call me "Mouth of the South". I have opinions...I have thoughts...I have ideas...and I share them so much better in writing. So many of you commented on my facebook posts throughout the year telling me how much you loved them, loved my honesty, and felt you knew me so much better. To you....enjoy this blog.
And to the disappointed head shakers....you may want to make this the last post you read. I'm sure 2012 will bring MUCH more head shaking.