Walking Through Life One Step at a Time

Walking Through Life One Step at a Time

Friday, July 13, 2012

I Can't Make This Stuff Up...

This post needs some explanation.  Actually...my whole family needs explanation. ;)

Every year, my dad, brother, and husband go on a "Father-Son Fishing Trip".  It's called the "Smackdown in Cherokee Town" and they compete for 3 days to see who can catch the most fish.  Of course, up until 2 years ago, the women were doing our womanly duty of watching the kids.  Now that the kids are older, they both go on the fishing trip with the boys and WE GET TO HAVE A LADIES ONLY SPA WEEKEND!!!  This will be our 2nd annual ladies trip while our men are out fishing for the trophy.

To go along with this annual tradition, my hysterical brother sends out an e-mail every year to "announce" the trip and get us all excited about it.  We get a guy e-mail with the fishing competitor list and a girl e-mail with the spa participator list.  I had to post this year's e-mail about our ladies trip because I literally about peed my pants and was doubled over laughing so hard that Matt thought I couldn't breathe...and I really could not.

I wanted to share this e-mail so you could laugh along with us.  If you know my family, this is no surprise.  If you do not know my family, you will probably wish you did after this. :)  The best part is dedicated to my sweet mother...who lives for massages.  Last year after her massage, my sister-in-law and I saw her wandering around the spa in a trance with hair like Michael Myers.  After we fell over laughing, we checked on her to make sure she was ok.  She looked like a mental hospital escapee...for reals.  She REALLY enjoyed her massage and evidently her hair did too. ;)

Well...enjoy this e-mail from my brother.  He truly missed his calling in life....

Yes that’s right native Asheville citizens, lock up your children and your household pets because the 2nd Annual Mother-Daughter Spatini Festival is about to hit your town in a LARGE way!

From July 27-29, these 3 women will drink, shop and massage their way through the town of Asheville in hopes of coming back to reality refreshed and energized to face the challenges ahead of them. But beware, in order to be refreshed and energized, they will tear your city apart in a matter of 48 hours!

Be on the lookout for these women as nothing but trouble will follow their winding path!
Name: Amanda Mallery
Nickname: Sorceress of Shopping
Crime: Her wand will mesmerize you as she snatches up everything in the store right before your very eyes!
Tip: Do not shop during the weekend of the Spatini Festival

Name: Deana Hicks
Nickname: Temptress of Mixology
Crime: Her smile is devilish, but as soon as you are hypnotized, she has ordered another drink….on your tab!
Tip: Do not visit any establishment where Adult Beverages are sold

BEFORE:                                                    AFTER:

Name: Mary Hicks – The Ringleader
Nickname: Michael Myers
Crime: Once she has been to the spa, she roams the town in a trance with crazed and unruly hair looking for her next victim!
Tip: If you hear the Theme Music to Halloween….she is nearby….run
Be wary of these members of the Spatini Festival!

If you run into any of these wanted women, do not make eye contact! You are urged to seek shelter immediately and contact your local authorities. In case of city evacuation, please follow the nearest evacuation route and leave as soon as possible!

Please tune in to the Emergency Broadcast System for further instructions!

I'm telling you...when I saw that picture of Michael Myers and the walker...I about died.  Just wanted to share!

*I will try to get a real picture of mom after the spa for this year...haha!

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