I have SO many topics I have been thinking about and SO many situations I want to write about right now, but I don't want to overwhelm you as most of you read my life stories to make you laugh (so wrong)...not read deep thoughts every day. Side note: anyone remember "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" on Saturday Night Live...HAHA! Deep thought #1....
Do you lie to your children?
I think it we were all honest, we would say YES at some point we all lie to our children. I'll lead by example:
*Toys R'Us is closed today. (electrical problems I think)
*Daddy and Mommy can fight any bad guy who tries to come in our house. (as long as he's small, blind, and weaponless)
*There is NOTHING to be afraid of! (sometimes there really ARE things to be afraid of)
*I don't have any cash for that. (wait...that's usually true)
Most of the time, we lie to our children to protect them. We should do that! If we were honest with our children about everything in life, they would probably be too scared to walk out the front door! Keep them feeling secure and safe as long as possible!
One thing, however, that I refuse to lie to Noah about is his performance. I refuse to tell him he is the best hockey player on his team...if he isn't. I refuse to tell him he will win every game...because, chances are, he won't.
A few weeks ago, he had a big hockey game. He was nervous, I was nervous, friends came to watch, loud music was playing, etc. He warmed up great, skated great, but once the game actually started it was like watching a squirrel play hockey. He was distracted by the slightest movement, the slightest noise, and especially the other games going on further down the ice. Needless to say, it wasn't my boy's best game. I know he didn't play his best game because I've SEEN him play MUCH better.
In the locker room (amongst 50 other parents), Noah asked me point blank, "Mom, how do you think I played?" I responded (because I don't really sugar coat things)..."Noah, that was not your best game." He got upset and asked me why I didn't just tell him that was his best game. I proceeded to explain to him that I've seen him play much better and I knew he wasn't giving his best. I told him all the things he did greatly, but I also told him that he was distracted and not listening to his coach as well as I've seen him before. He point blank told me.."Mom, you are my mom! You are supposed to tell me I'm the best at everything!" And I told him point blank..."Noah, I am your mom! I am not going to lie to you in this situation! It was NOT your best game!"
Another hockey mom...that I've never spoken to...told me after he left that she SO appreciated me being honest with Noah. So many sports teams reward effort, trying, and mediocre performance. That's fine in some cases/ages, but I want my son to know that he does not get a trophy for playing like a spastic, distracted squirrel! He will not win first place every time he just... shows up. To be the best demands effort and excellence.
If you look at it spiritually, it's a life long lesson. As Christians, God doesn't ask us to just give Him mediocrity. He asks us to do everything "as unto Him"...which to me...means with excellence. When I stand before Him, I don't want a pat on the back for showing up and trying. I want a "Well done". I want my life to be my best game... every time....every day.
To conclude...am I proud of my son? I couldn't be more proud of him! He is amazing at everything he does. He is incredibly smart, hysterically witty, charmingly handsome, and the best 5 year old hockey player I've ever seen (my biased opinion, of course). Do I let him know these things? Every day. Part of my job as a parent is to encourage his abilities...even on his bad days. So don't take my "Mom of the Year" award away for this post. There will be plenty of other opportunities. ;)
In the meantime, I'll keep loving this little boy....